Sounds cringe, but it really works

One of the first things I learned in my coaching certification program turned out to be one of the most important elements for any and every coaching conversation. It’s something I was initially resistant to. I questioned that it was really that valuable in helping another person. I even feel a little silly writing about it, because it’s so simple and easily dismissible. But if you happen to be in a transition you don’t like, try this:

Acknowledge and validate.

I told you it was simple. Embarrassingly simple. Maybe even a little cringe. And yet.

When you acknowledge the heaviness, or fear, or hardship of a situation, and validate it instead of diminishing it or dismissing it, you have yourself the beginning of a shift.

It can sound like this: This is really [hard, scary, heavy, fill in the blank with the feeling]. No wonder I feel this way, because [fill in the blank with a reason; perhaps it connects to something from your past, or perhaps it’s just that it would be hard/scary/heavy for anyone].

If you are acknowledging and validating someone else it could sound like, “That sounds really [name the feeling]. Of course you are feeling that way. This situation is really [rename that same feeling].”

Does this sound silly? It might. Believe me, I was not at all convinced when I first heard it. But then when I experienced sincere acknowledgment and validation by those coaching me, I felt an instant shift. Sincerity is key, these aren’t just words to parrot.

We are so often quick to dismiss what we are really feeling, or feel like we need to get rid of complicated feelings. But acknowledging and validating those feelings invites honesty and self-compassion. It gives you permission to be as you are. Which is where every step forward has to start from.

So if life is shifting around you, or you are inside a transition that doesn’t feel good, be honest with that discomfort. And know that of course this really this hard, it’s not your imagination. It’s hard because of the very personal ways it connects to you, and it’s hard simply because it would be hard for anyone.

Sending you sincere acknowledgment for all that you are living this week,

Christin